My Lesbian Friend's Dad

So I have a friend... who's a lesbian... Anyways, I went over to her house once because we wanted to make rainbow cake. Her dad is someone who's very religious and stuff and threatens to do things to people. Anyways, we were also working on a new fashion line together and were in the process of making a dress for her. Then we decided to make rainbow cake. Anyways, for anyone who doesn't know me, I'm gay. The particular friend I'm talking about actually calls me Twinky... because I'm a Twink... it's basically a small, blonde, gay guy.

Anyways, her dad doesn't like gays and was threatening to pull her out of high school even because there were too many gays at our high school.

Anyways, we were home alone at her house when her parents walk in the door after grocery shopping. Now, her mom LOVES me. She thinks there absolutely could not be a better person for her daughter to hang out with. I was sitting at the table eating the rainbow cake we had just made and her dad stares me in the eye and says "Daughter, go get my gun." Honestly, I almost fell out of the chair because her dad is really big and scary and could easily kill me and I've never had anything like that said to me before. Then after having my balls threatened to be chopped off and tons of other things if I ever even hugged his daughter, I escaped to her room (after finishing my cake, of course.) Then he kind of stood outside her door as we proceeded to work on our stuff.

The next day, at school, she came up to me and told me that her dad told her to go date me because he reminded me of a character from Duck Dynasty.

I found this hilarious because I'm gay and she's a lesbian. It's not happening.
~R